Driving Lessons

Hello guys and girls!

I’ve been going to driving school for the past...I don’t know, 5 months (don’t judge me; try juggling school work and driving school!) So let me just say, for firsties, that the instructor is just an awful, vulgar man! He should be banned from teaching, it’s so wrong. Okay, when I’m not driving, he’s very sweet and kind; cracks jokes etc. But wait until I get behind the wheel, then all hell breaks lose. It seems as if I do more wrong than good, basically. He will get the major huff from absolutely nothing. He yells for no reason.

He goes, “Did you check your mirrors?”

I nod, but then check my mirrors again.

“Eyes on the road, jeez! Oh, don’t be harsh with the accelerator. Is that how you treat your man?” (I actually laughed at that one; what a funny man).

I say, “Oh, I don’t-.”

He cuts me short, “Eyes on the road and slow down!”

I slow down but then a bunch of yells and instructions come pouring in simultaneously. You can’t stop him.

“Eyes on the road- check your mirrors- keep on the road! What are you thinking about? I thought you said you didn’t have a man! (I know, right? Totally unnecessary)- slow down; do you want to take the car in front apart?- accelerate before I fall asleep- you’re unbelievable- Come on, love, we haven’t got all day on the road- Pete’s pyjamas, slow down!- did you check your mirrors?- eyes on the road- Honestly, I swear you’re doing this on purpose- will you accelerate already?- stop; that’s a stop sign, you idiot! – You know, if you’re not going to listen to what I say and do your own thing, then what am I here for? Eyes on the road, dammit!”

I think you get the picture. You see what I have to go through? No wonder it’s been five months; how in the name of jumping jelly beans, am I supposed to learn how to drive in dire traffic, when my instructor is just terrible?

I think that deep down inside he’s scared. So he uses hurtful, confusing instructions and yells them out...it’s panic. But I’ve control of the wheel; nothing will happen. I’m not a bad driver. I’m not freakishly terrible or out of control. I’ve got a number of witnesses who can verify that I’m not terrible...I’m not.